I am An Artist

Early morning, at noon..whenever the sun dawns, at night..yes, at night whenever I'm about to close my eyes...the cycle keeps on repeating...and repeating..and repeating...

I've been meditating every single time..searching for answers within. Answers I know I couldn't find outside of me. Answers I know only I could comprehend..answers that would birth to my True Self. They say that before You're able to share Yourself to Others, You Truly must know Oneself first. I've tried so many times running away from the Truth. In all forms, in all planes, in all places, even at the gym! I'm just trying to make this light as much as I could, but the words effortlessly flow from my brain up to my hands, as if I were not thinking at all, as if A Higher Divine does it for me.

Yes, I am but only an instrument of this Universe...

And in days, weeks and yes, it's been years of searching...I still can't seem to find a concrete thing - yet. And whenever such circumstances hit me, making me feel stuck I grab hold to my brushes..I take such ecstasy mixing colors on my palette, striking colors on a blank page and letting my Muse lead me into such state..

I do not know everything for sure. All I know is want to keep on creating - keep on painting, keep on writing, keep on dancing,keep on expressing myself in such a way that creates meaning, purpose and beauty in this world..I know, it's tough to have so much in your head..It's tough to seem to love a lot and pursue so much in your heart...But I accept my current reality.

Perhaps, in between the process of doing, juggling and most importantly yes, Being..perhaps I would find something that I could truly master, perhaps I would find, or rather create and peel parts of who I think I was, to who I truly Am.

This journey, of Self Healing..yes, sometimes it is too much..bouts of extreme grief, sadness, and on the other end, there will be days when I would feel like I could conquer the whole world- and when The Ego becomes too much, certain things..certain circumstances in my life suddenly make me bow down to my knees..reminding me to always, always be a Humble Warrior in Life..I've reached that point in life when I just don't really care what other people think and would even think of me..I've reached that point wherein all I desire is to get infinitely in touch with my Authentic Self cause I know by that time(and yes, I declare it happening in the present, as I fully let go of my past..and embrace a beautiful, abundant future ahead), I would be able to fulfill my Divine Duty to this World..

It's not Selfish, to want to love yourself first. It's not selfish to express yourself in any manner that you wish to..It's completely, completely the right thing to do. For indeed, how can we pour Light into the world, if inside of us is all Darkness? We must all first Be that Light...

And as I've danced my way through a blank sheet..this is what came out..

In any way, I am no Picasso, I am no Van Gogh...

I am Me. And that is Enough.

And in this Journey, I trust that I will find it, I will create it..and knowing that I'm not alone in this Journey gives me the confidence to keep moving forward..with my brushes, with beautiful colors, with my hands, and most importantly with Love...

Love, not just from within..but also from people around me....love from family, love from friends and above All..Love from our Divine Maker...He, who makes All things possible. He, who guides our Journey..He who made us One and the Same.

This is My Raw Beauty Life. It's not just about Raw Food..cause there are days I find myself needing to warm up with wholesome, lightly cooked vegetables..It's not just about Art..It's not just about Me. Cause I trust somewhere along the lines, the strokes..the words and the phrases that I create, I am able to share my Soul to You..And isn't that we truly all are? In as much as we are all different, we are all One. And from the deepest, deepest part of my Self, all I ever wanted is to that genuine connection...It seems ideal given the world we currently live in..But we can change it..we can change it..starting from within..Just Imagine...

That's why I'll keep on creating..that's why I'll keep going..cause I believe, it will all make sense...That belief keeps me going. Yes, it will make sense. Yes. For I am An Artist. And every day of my Life, I am, and I will Be.